Author: Jamie Bird (153084)

THE RED ROSE

YORK DEAD? YOU’RE GOD DAMN RIGHT
December 1460
Holy crap things actually went well. Or that’s what the brave men at Wakefield were saying. I know what you the reader are thinking, how can the evasive and evil Richard Plantagenet has been slaughtered with such ease? Well the skill of the kings soldiers put an end to that bastard.
Held up at Sandal castle York thought he could flee the vengeful sons of the men of St. Albans however the fool did not know who he was facing. In a daring and stunning move Richard was beaten in open battle along 2,000 Yorkist dogs. After so the glorious victors of Lancaster took their pay and pillaged the rotten fields of Yorkshire, smiting down the rebels in their homes.
After so Richard’s demonic body was justly beheaded and hilariously crowned as he wanted however with the paper as strong as his claim. You can see this at the gates of York for a fun experience with the family.
Never before has such glory been brought upon our kingdom solely by a King, and a great King if any.
ST. ALBANS: WARWICK CRUSHED
February 1461
The infamous pirate of Calais, Richard Neville and his army of mongrels, was humiliated by the king’s glorious army in the haunted town of St. Albans. The very same location where Richard Plantagenet treacherously organised the murder of our good and honest men defending the king. In a bout of irony the dogs fell in their thousands to the chime of the bells and cries of vengeance.
The craven Richard Neville made a wise decision and decided to fly from the field fearing further slaughter of his men, however during his flight our noble and brave king Henry made a daring escape to a nearby tree where he fooled the entirety of the Yorkist army in believing he was part of the foliage despite his wilful ode to the glorious victors and their success. In a romantic experience our king was reunited with his queen and they retired to the royal bedroom.
THE TRAITORS NAMED AND SHAMED
November 1459
In the magnificent stronghold of Coventry our holy leaders convened to discuss the insurgency; And at the end the council came to conclude that the traitors were not worthy of the land they owned or the titles their ancestors possessed; and as all treasonous curs are given a sentence to death. This has led to countless positive reactions as the people now flock to the banner of the true King Henry.

Artists Impression of Richard Plantagenet
Ploantagen